Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Sad world of adult bully

Bully is the one who deliberately irritates, annoys, intimidates,  and harms others. Usually we associate this word bully with a mischief kid and assume that it happens only in school or online. Unfortunately that kid grows up  and enters into the  adult world with more experiences, more refined tactics and more confidence.  And this is the saddest part: Bully in the adult world.  Adults are product of their upbringing.
That kid is now a saddest adult.

The meanness is not an instant discussion. He/she groomed to be like that sad human.  They have practice their tactics million times.  In adult's world, we ignore their bad behaviors for the sake of our own peace.  However, appreciating the bad behaviors by remaining quite shows that whatever they are doing is tolerant and acceptable.

Another important thing to notice is that this type of subtle adult bullying is impossible to be done alone. There is always a gang of two to four like-minded people who target someone they are jealous of dub as mobbing. Group makes them strong and safe. Abusing and harassing others give them pleasure.

 Otherwise, why a normal, mentally and emotionally stable,  healthy peep would  abuse someone with his words or hands? Bullies are coward and mentally unstable. Decent and educated  people are not jealous. They work hard to get what they want instead of pulling others legs. They respect difference of opinions instead of answering back at top of their lungs. They are clam and composed in the time of criticism.  They take challenges,  not revenges. People of strong characters never do cheap and low things for pleasure. Each and everyone of us have to go thorough criticism and confrontation in this life.  First of all they are wise enough to do things in honest way that no one question them. They don't have to give explanations. But, still at the time of criticism and confrontation  they take it with the intention of correction, improvement and betterment of themselves.   Criticism is not disrespectful to them. However, adult bullies/harassers are unfortunately  unloved and sad souls who spend their days  taunting, making schemes of harming others and giving explanations of their acts.

A study presented in American Academy of Pediatrics annual meeting by  the Brown University consider bully a mental disorder. According to the study harassers experience depression, anxiety and attention deficit disorder ( ADD or ADHD).
 A survey responses from parents of nearly 64,000 children ages 6 to 17 who were identified as having a mental health disorder, and those who were identified as bullies, analyzed  by researchers at Brown.

Once, speaking at Harvard School of Public Health, Ms. Melissa Holt, assistant professor in the Boston University School of Education said that bullies are unfortunately victim themselves. They have been exposed and abused physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually in their childhood. They have been treated badly by others. Something really abusive happened in a person’s life that causes him or her to be mean and cruel, to want to tease, belittle or even physically hurt another human being. 

Another study conducted by a team of  researchers at the Institute of Education in London that examined the psychiatric correlates of bully behavior,  came to to same conclusion  that that bullies are more likely   to suffer from low self-esteem, depression, and behavioral problems from early childhood and through primary school.

 Data for this study was derived from the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Six percent of 43,093 adults sampled indicated a history of bullying others.

The study also indicates conduct disorder as a childhood precursor of adult anti-social behavior.

If we see around us, the issue of have and have not is too much in our society. This also creates frustration among public at micro and macro levels.  Opportunities are less. Success is a scared thing in third world countries. They can go to any length for what they want. People are groomed to be go getters by hook or cook in the name of hard work. The concept of hard work, and merit is no more. 

The real issue is dealing with these adult bullies especially when they are in your face. Like i said adult bullies are experienced. They know what they are doing.  Making them sit and comforting is not possible.   They have turned into mental case with the passage of time. They would never accept that their behavior and attitude is the problem for others.

Only God and a good psychiatrist can help them.