Registered & Protected

Friday, January 8, 2016

Time is changing..and I have grown up. It feels good. My life has got some meaning..some direction. I know me. I know what I want or it looks like what I want.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Beautiful Dream.

I think I did a mistake. I should not  have told him anything at all. Even to anyone. Telling and discussing your issues with  others is a mistake. Also the way I tell is not serious. Most of the time I am smiling and laughing. Why would anyone take me serious?
Everything has its limit. It is hurting me. And what  she told me was the last straw. I replied confidently however I have decided what I gotta do from now on.They have no right to tell me what should I do, with whom I should be. Things would get worst if I am gonna let it go.
I had a beautiful dream. It was really beautiful. After swiping my card I go to  washroom and make my self presentable after 45 minutes bus ride because I don't get time to do make up in the morning.
I desperately want university to be over.  No idea How will I do my MS? It is too much.
Anyway...on Friday Habib University is having seminar on design thinking. A foreign speaker is coming.  I am not gonna miss it at all .....this time.

Saturday, December 12, 2015


Winter is my warm and  sunny Karachi. It is getting cold and dry.  I went to  Uni with bundled up in my mom's maroon shawl and camel colored sweater. And this is the reason I don't like it.

And you can't go out much either. And you have to find sun to warm up yourself.

My Friday was quite eventful.

At work I told her I am not comfortable at this table, and space. She after listening said this is the place I chose it.

Yes ! I did that. It was my decision. My bad.... ??

Now if I will be moved upstairs in other room...I will be cut off from the main department. There are few other things on which I have made up my mind. And so relaxed. I just want my life back. My enthusiasm to work. My routine back.

Hope it is not a bad decision.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

It's written all over your face.

People have emotions [e-mo´shun]. And some of us are emotional !

Anyway, we  express those emotions with our  voice, face and body. And according to  Aleix Martinez, associate professor of electrical and computer engineering at Ohio State University and his colleagues:
 "Human face makes 21 different emotional expressions – and each is different from the other. While some represented combinations of emotions, each differed in terms of which muscles were involved." (read here !)
It is incredible, innit ?

One face making 21 different faces ? Wow !

To know what's really going on you just  gotta read those  emotions. Many of us are good in reading them. Or it is too obvious.

But what about those people who are good in hiding them? Who mask !

There are many who don't let us know what they are really feeling.  Or we are not supposed to know everything.  Or sometimes it is better for us to not know all.

Still I wanna know what's going on.  I wanna know whether they are amused, surprised, annoyed, happy, frustrated, excited(with me) or not.

And to know  I  am alter, interested(otherwise I am not talking) observing, and noting  each and every little detail around me. So while  giving bit attention I am somehow able  to tell what one is feeling.

I once read a book on body language which helped me a lot to know whether with one I am is interested in me or not. And it matters a lot. Why wasting time with someone who's not even interested in listening whatever the crap you are saying?

Deciphering the situation with one's voice is not that difficult.

How cool it would be if  it's written all over other  faces. No need to be worry about how other is encoding our emotion.

On a serious note, it is better to be a poker face. Smiling faces are more attractive and people are more inclined towards  them.

No one wanna see a sad face............. no matter how real that sadness is.

I wish I had a poker face.

God knows the best what's in one hearts.

Friday, November 27, 2015

This is what people want.

Naseeruddin Shah advised  Pakistani filmmakers to stop watching Bollywood movies.

Pakistani directors always try to follow Bollywood and Bollywood always tries to follow Hollywood, even the posters of our films are bad copies of Hollywood,”

Shah Sahb is just getting jazbati. Bollywood movies ain't that bad. We all know that  the thing in Bollywood  is popular and not so popular movies, otherwise they are as creative and original as Indians could be (I know, it's is racist. Eat me).

It has its own audience and if not all, 80%  of its audience are Ok with everything in the Bollywood. They want entertainment, entertainment and entertainment. And B- movies are all about entertainment.

We are living in the third world country. Already there is so much uncertainty and stress. They don't go to cinema for thought provoking deep subjects, or reality. They want light stuff.

People like those tha'aty bazi, thumka, songs, stories. Their romance and humor, action and dialogues suite the audience pretty well.  Awien they are not popular. Not only popular they are hit and super hit.
 In a nutshell, movies are what their audience are. This is what people want to see.

Pakistanis are no different than their neighbors. They have been watching Indian movies since they are in this world (which  they would  deny straight away if any survey carried out and mark my words demand would be family oriented movies). Jomarzi unki..........per dekhty sub Indian maal he hein.

Bollywood movies are Pakistani movie makers' benchmark. Those malsa movies have a huge market here.

It  sells here like it or not.

Not only that Bollywood produces some 900 movies per year. It is quite a big and serious  industry which has produced  some cool numbers like Gangs of Wasseypur, Ship of Theseus, Piku, Court, Titli, Haider, Raincoat, Ugly, Badlapur in recent time. However,  they are just not popular, because it is not typical masla movies what masses want. Some of them I mentioned were straight flops at box office.

Many are sure carbon copies of Hollywood and total flops. And  it is OK.  At least they are making movies.  Hollywood is their  benchmark. Simple !

"For instance, I told [filmmaker] Vishal Bhardwaj during the making of Omkara (an adaptation of Shakespeare’s Othello) to keep the end just like that of the play, but he changed it according to what Bollywood is desirous of.” Naseeruddin Shah.

Film Industry  is a money making enterprise.  Product is for masses. No commercial movie maker ever gonna make any movie which would tank at the box office. Like I have been saying...these producers and directors are no fool. They know their desi audience can't digest the Othello's ending as it is. The have to dumb  it down according to their audience who pay and watch 2 to 3 hours movies.

Another thing about Pakistani audience is that they are so god damn worried are #itemnumbers in "their movies" which according to them " should not be in their movies".... like they don't  enjoy Indian item numbers, like they fast forward when shela ki jawani and baby doll me sony ki show up on their telly screens, like they don't know even in their family oriented Islamic republic there are mujry in weddings and mardana hujray. Shout out to all the hypocrites out there ! 

 Yes....item numbers are real.  They would be there. Go suicide.

For so long the whole film business, acting, singing, cinema going  was considered vulgar in our Pak Land. Things got bit change socially and cinema wise thankfully. Movies are coming out. People are going to the cinemas. Some do try to bring what?  It is just a  start. A new start.

 I have no idea why Shah shab considers it  a tragedy if Pakistan continues to produce bad copies of Bollywood movies when  majority of  recent Pakistani movies like Moor, Shah, Manto, Dukhtar, Waar, Zindah Bhaag, Namaloom Afrad are original, experimental and creative so far.

So be happy :).

Monday, November 23, 2015

No explanation !!!!!!!!!

I shouldn't have left the room like I did. It was awful.

When I reached there she was doing  her everyday drama bazi at H's table. It was lunch time. Almost everyone was there except one co-worker. My mood was OK but suddenly I got so angry. I am so tired of  her loud voice, and dramas. Well, to be honest I slammed the door at him just because of anger. I had no intention of doing that. It all happened so quick.

He called out me in his gentle way. I banged the door and left. It was the rudest thing I ever did to him.

This is one of the  issues which I want to solve or complain to higher authority. But I don't know with whom I should talk  about it as others are all OK with this loud environment.  Everyone likes it.

It seems it would be a  stupidity if I complain as even the mature and older ones are happy with it. When no one listens, and no one understands then it  is useless.....  and more probably you are  insulting your own self while complaining.

So I have just quieten down.

Best was that I should have had adjusted  and mingled with the rest.  I tried but on the day 2 I had a realization that if I stay bit longer with them I am gonna be trapped with these peeps forever.  This s not my circle. To them I am the one who could agy ja sakti hai. My two cents have zero value. I still try to have at least good relation as they are in my face even after almost a year I couldn't do it.

 My bad.

 I couldn't fake it. After Salam and dua I can't go on more  with them.   It is quite hard for me to be with them all the time as we all sit in the same room. It gets so difficult to concentrate, read and prepare lectures when I am back to my office.

To survive I have been ignoring  all this and adjust in the environment as much as I could  but today something came over me at lunch. I just couldn't put up.

I slammed the door and left the room.

I know they are right  and I am wrong.

They are fun and I am boring as hell.

Only A and F like me and with me because they want to be with me. So OK. I am OK with them.