I wanna be back to blogging. It kept me sane for so long. It gave me motivation. It gave me hope that everything will be fine no matter what.
I used to be so focused. Despite having less time due to university I was doing OK. There was purpose, there was hope. There was routine. I was doing at least OK. Then heaven knows why...how..but something happened..... I lost the track.
I am clueless..more confused than ever.
Despite having 3 days off, I did nothing productive. Papers are unchecked. Camera is still on my table, three novels I bought are still untouched. Only thing I did was cooking.
There is no sadness, no depression, a bit frustrating but that is also almost gone after making myself understand that what I want is too much, my expectations are way high ...however it just feel like I am lacking motivation. I have gave up on things so long ago. I guess I have hit the rock bottom in a nice way.
My emotions made me fool. My happiness mislead me.