Thursday, June 22, 2017

On Groups.

I have two months off. June is about to end. Now I am looking forward to July with the hope of some substantial work. This year  Ramadan  fell in the month of June. Defiantly, the whole schedule is different than any other normal month. All day long I am sleeping for no valid reason like I am not even tired or sleepy. There is nothing much to do. And it is depressing me some how.  Work is blessing for me. It keeps me occupied and happy.

Since last week, S is trying to make a plan to go out with me. Yesterday her In-law aunt called on her. We might meet after Eid, I guess. As it looks like.  

S, and I are doing MS together. The whole class is so found of hanging out in the name of group studies. I avoid  large group. Everyone together.  " Hum saath saath hein" type domestic mentality. And then controlling. Urg !

This happens a lot in group: the controlling part. 

Everyone is different and individual. My life style and natre is firend. Large groups repel me. I feel so lost, and  deindividualize. Then, definitely it requires one to  become a follower. And you can't join the group where you can't feel  the sense of belonging. They start influencing you to do things which you don't want to do. 

Some like me are extroverts but at the same time we know who we are. It is waste of time to be with whom we have no chemistry, That should be fair enough. Or maybe I am so much into my work that I hardly get time to do or meet others.  Yeah, I wasn't like that. But now, things are so different. I didn't do anything, seriously. However, I like it. 

Being in group is not my nature from the start.  When I meet someone, I (try to) make connection with them at the deeper level. And if that understanding and depth are not there, then I am OK with it and move on. Group people are of different type. They are agreeable type. Of course surviving in the group with out agreeing is not possible. Convincing me is not that possible.

There is also no guarantee if these people in so called group are of your type. We have to be very careful with whom we want to spend most of our time with. As Jim Rohan says, we become average of the five people we spend our time with. 

Group means more than one or two person and dealing with their temperament, nature, and habits. At least I don't have this much time. There is an other thing. I am self aware. I somehow know what exactly I want.We just don't want to be left out that is why we immediately attach our self with people without knowing our-self and them. Not only we get attached we also adjust just to be with others.

It is okay to be alone for a while, or with few people who you have chemistry, understanding and something common rather then with those who make you feel left out. 


  1. Maintain your individuality, Ifra! Greetings for Ramadan!

  2. Ifrah! You wont believe but this is what were my exact thoughts this morning. There is group in my office with whom I mostly go out for evening tea but always feel left out. But this is not the first time. I always feel that odd man out feeling in a group :-P However, I was planning how to get rid of this tea group and have a 'ME' time.

    It sometimes makes me amazed, that the extrovert people like us are so introvert inside. Isn't it?