Friday, July 6, 2012

Teen sex.

Last night I was watching this show dubbed  Taboo on National Geographic Channel. The episode  was about " Teen Sex"  where  one item who were just 14 and about to be parents, Cambodian Love Huts (a place  father build for their teenage daughters  so they can  spend time with boys),  also about girls who wear  promising  ring and their  pledge to remain virgins until marriage.

In some part of the world  sex before marriage is just a right thing. To them promising ring type people look losers. To them teen sex is acceptable or if not they are accepting because you can't do anything when arrow has been shot.

Well, I am not gonna comment on  those societies, and these teen moms/ parents, because if I'm gonna point one  finger toward some society or peeps just because my believe and faith is different, they would point four fingers toward me.

All I can say is that, in the end of the day we are all  humans. Thing  is that everyone is different.  Every society is different. However you can't close your eyes at teen sex because we have seen that in many cases mostly girl child has to bear all this.

Some debate sex is for adults. Some say teens are almost adult and they have hormones.

I  reckon everyone has hormones, just that some are ready pretty early. And there is no harm in it. Actually,  this 18 year old notion is so stupid, and corrupt because person is adult man or woman the day he/she reaches his puberty.  Parents should keep these things in mind. Young adult child has his/her needs and  parents have this responsibility to tell them right thing and guide.

Kids learn from their home, environment, tradition, culture, religion, and society.  So  don't put all the blame on teen hood and hormones. Listen to them, and treat them like young adults.

In back days  early marriage was  in practice, where both bride and groom where almost teen, which was a good thing. See, you have to do that, whether you do  that sooner or later.  So it is better to do in  a legit way, isn't?

I will do the same thing with my kids if they would be so horny. Here they will hit 16 or 18, I will tie their knots. There is no other way if they so desperate.

You can't keep it zipped ?
Let me hook you up !!!

See, God created Adam  and Eve, and this is not a sinful thing. In my opinion, sex is a healthy and blessing, if it is in  between husband and wife, only. The end.

In our  urban areas I have never seen such teenage items with kids. Just that poor parents force their  minor  girls to marry someone way older than her. The man gives money  to girl's parents and everything is set. Some time it is a not just for money, a good way to get rid of girl child. This happens awful lot, so yeah this is teen sex or marriage over here.

In  normal families people do also want their kids to get married as soon as possible, again especially their girls.  

So, their are so many girls who are teen and mother.....and living their lives. Difference is that they have husband who are bit mature, and older. Parents arranged that. Child is parents responsibility, father is guardian till someone is 18 and this falls in under civil law. However, parents take care of child till he/she  ain't get married.

I was thinking, no body taught us sex education and all that jazz in our schools. I never asked my parents where and how I come from? Somehow we figure it out all in our own way. It is natural. Dumb kids ask these  stuff. 

Only lectures  we got on this issue was " stay away from boys/ men."  I also don't remember when I studied the topic of reproduction  in my biology class. I did, OK. Just that teacher taught in a way, that it was not so awkward, or I didn't pay any notice.

Does it mean all is well or we have some what low sex drives than others?

No,  all is not that well, but still  some are pretty well. Like, institution of marriage is still quite strong. On the other hand, like I said everything is not that well. People do whatever they want to do. 

Days ago I  was reading Ansar Abasi's article that this is becoming quite an issue in our rural areas as well. Lots of teen age girls are going  for abortion. Might be .......God knows. Their life, their choice.

That is why I emphasized more on marriage, rather than safe  or protected sex. 
In this world everything happens. Some teen parents are success stories, some are total disaster.
God knows the best.

Note:   This post ain't  to abash, embarrass or offend anyone.


  1. I'm horny now.

  2. absolutely,i'll not let this happen when i have a kids one day.
    totally not disagree with this 'TS'

    erm,hello... their still young,right? a lots of things to do..

    anyway thanks izdiher.=)

  3. This show "Taboo" is one of the things on TV that I can't watch. Everytime I see some scenes from various topics I feel disgusted, frightened and I change chanel.
    I'm against teen sex because teens are just children, it would be better after 18 years old.
    In my opinion sex should come when both (boy/girl)are mature and have sex because they want to and not for curiosity.
    Of course sex should come with contraception methods.
    I don't judge what every culture finds correct and I respect what a person does with her/his body.

  4. If you want my expert opinion, Kids don't know what their futures have in store for them! Yes, they have hormones! We had hormones as we still do of course but little Peggy Sue thinks Tommy's going to put a ring on her finger and spend the rest of his life with her when in fact, all he wants is just sex. Then when she gets pregnant, he's going to show his true colors and the two will be fighting like cats and dogs!! Peggy Sue will turn to her mother who tried to warn her and she'll say, "You were right mom!!! I feel like an idiot!" Guess that's just the way life goes sometimes.. and you really have no control of what happens or takes place, they say that everything happens for a reason and if God is in control of our lives then I believe that sometimes, he allows things to happen in order to show us a greater picture.. or teach us a valuable lesson. I think TS is wrong and I hope my boys will wait for marriage. Nothing would mean more to me if they did but there are no guarantees in life, just don't tell them that.. or else they wd know that I would love them no matter what. For now, let them live in fear that if they ever do something that bad then I'll be angry or upset or even ashamed!! But I will always love them.. They're my boys!! It's just very sad topic indeed Izdiher!

  5. Great Post Izdiher! I totally agree with you. sex is beautiful and it's to bring marriage closer. The end:)

  6. Boys hate girls and girls hate boys. Then they get married. That used to be the case. In any society. All around the globe. Where and when civilization reigned supreme. Then it turned to be back way to the future of paganism. My...!

  7. I'm in agreement with you that sex in marriage is healthy and wonderful. The end.

  8. This is a heavy subject and I probably have some controversial views regarding TS and marriage. Yikes!

  9. My views? Ifrah, anything I say will *never* make anybody believe, behave/do or think any different than they do--or want to do.

    I have found the best leading is by example. Let one show others how life is so much 'better' if I do this, or that. AND I am no good at that, because MY life has been anything BUT exemplary. So, renegade that I am, guess I'll just sit back and watch all us Peeps annihilate each other. The world will remain--we cannot hurt the earth, only ourselves.

    Maybe God will become so furious, that He will just start over again..HEY! I'D LIKE TO BE ADAM--grinning BIG! LOL! (And I will not eat any dammmm apples!)

    GOOD post, Iz. Thank you.

  10. And further more, where do these parents get off forcing their kids to have sex with these older males/men?? I understand in some cultures, it's tradition for younger girls to get married and all to older men and it's like that in some polygamist colony which ARE NOT apart of the MORMON church although many people seem to believe that.. But there's still a big difference between culture and a group of brainwashed perverts! I do not agree with these people! They're all just sick!! It's like they're pimping their kids out for money. How low!

  11. It happens some where all the time, and here in the American south there are many girls of religious baptist parents who forbid their daughters from doing you know what. But because they are so afraid and paranoid about their daughters, that half the girls here are emotionally not prepared long beforehand and their sex education classes in school are jokes. When I was in school, I knew at least five girls who dropped out because they got pregnant and a few more than had them and went back.

  12. I couldn't say the same thing in my country at this time. Our culture would say that there's a proper time for engaging in sex and marrying. It was and will be 'taboo' for the conservatives but in the modern times, the younger generation are more 'daring' and 'adventurous'.

    I wouldn't know the detailed statistics, but it is surprisingly alarming that more and more are getting involved in teenage sex. Sex education is integrated in our classes in the elementary years both in health and religion classes. It is also included in the curriculum in high school. The next alarming thing is, in my Nursing classes, even if we are studying the Reproductive system and promoting awareness in our Community Health Nursing, many still get pregnant. I guess, the education part shouldn't only be embedded in the heads of the young. It should, instead, entail them to responsibility ~ to weigh the possible xonsequences to their acts.

    I have heard that in Germany and perhaps in Europe in general and in the US, when the teenagers would go for dates, it is their very own parent who would remind them to bring condoms or pills. What then of this culture?

    Even in the ads right now, what is promoted is 'safe sex' if the teenagers couldn't resist themselves.

    There are still a lot of areas to be reflected and discussed upon this issue. Perhaps, I'll come back again...

    Thanks for sharing this post.

  13. An interesting topic for conversation. I had sex when I was a teenager but I married the person I had it with, so I'm probably not a good example here, or else I'm a good one. I'm so confused!!!!

  14. Hi Izdiher!! Long time withouth reading you! this is a very interesting topic! on one hand im glad (once again) of reading things about your culture that could be considered very shoking in mine! on the other hand I disagree with that of segregating girls from boys at school etc. That was something that used to happen in Spain (i guess in all europe) and you know?? It didnt prevail anything xD I think what is important is education, not only about sex but also about what you want to be in your future, because a baby stops you for doing many things in your life and teenagers have to be aware of that.
    Nice post!! see us!! =)

  15. No comment just that we need to proper educate our children..

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  17. I have always asked this to people who promote sex after marriage - if i don't get married until i am 30 for some goddamn reason, am i suppose to be a 30 year old virgin?
    That's asking awful lot of me and i can't do that. Saying that, sex at very early age could be mentally taxing too, much more than physically.

    But like you said in the end, everyone's got a different story. Some handle it well, some don't. Hence any seeking the answer of what is right for you by looking at someone else's life is not the best thing.

  18. This is a great post because you are very open in your opinion. There is no right or wrong opinion here. Everyone is ready for sex whenever they are ready. The only thing is: It's better to be emotionally ready for sex, not physically. Because without emotional comfort you won't enjoy sex.

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  21. Different cultures and different socioeconomic groups or population subsets will have different details but for the most part my opinion is this: Nothing wrong with exploration between two consenting people of the same experience level at around the age of 16. The guilt needs to be taken away from the act and from the feelings associated with it. I have seen far too many "groups" try and preach out the "sin" from their children which leaves them little more than an emotional and hormonal powder keg waiting to go off or worse emotionally crippled seriously deviant wreck. I am not however advocating for teens to go sleeping around and having sex with everybody, sex is special and should be shared with a special person. And if you meet 50 special people you're going to have to redefine special.

    Parents and young people do need to look out for the predator type though. Predators are looking for easy targets and have no desire to enjoy the beauty of sex, they simply want to "take" something. Unfortunately, they don't have as typical a look as you might think, and they aren't always taking by force. Look for guys who are in a hurry with a lot more experience than their partner, usually a few years older. They usually have a serpents tongue and are good at pouring on the charm.

    Just my 2 cents

  22. You write on a topic which needs to write. we should teach our childern about sex in a simple way, it is their need and our duty.

  23. In a society that considers sex out of wedlock as taboo has a high rate of teenage parents, and that's a fact.

  24. I also don't want to judge other people, or their parents for that matter. That statement maybe true: their life, their choice. But somehow, I believe that parents should be parents. I mean, their utmost concern is also to lead and guide their children to a better life. Being a mother at 16 or even younger is a difficult battle. Yes, others might succeed fairly well but most of them (I believe) faces a miserable existence. And I really feel sorry for them.

  25. What a great post Izdiher.

  26. no society is perfect important is how much democratic a nation is

  27. Very mature thinking Izdiher:) Each society and culture decide the norms of marriage so it is difficult to justify what is right or wrong! The only thing is that teens may be the most active period but is not the best to engage in activity which could create problem for future for the young adults!

  28. This post makes me happy that I'm still a virgin at 21. :) Hooray to this post!

  29. Every society has their set of norms. I hail from a tradition Hindu Maharashtrian-UP family and sex in itself is a huge taboo here. The very discussion of sex is made in hushed voices and my own parents would abhor the idea of premarital sex by my cousin or brother or sister or even me. Me? My opinions are a little different. People can take the lunge when they're think they're ready to, its not my responsibility to guide anybody except those close to me. Teenage pregnancy? You're 13 and you want to have a baby? No, thank you, finish your own school first.

  30. There is a lot of good commenting to the above-posted article.
    I am sure, if we strive harder to find the truth behind the purpose of creating life, we may come closer to concluding that "descipline" is the word and a path to follow for overcoming social problems.

    People may prefer to follow divinely rulings or stay ignorant, it's absolutely their choice.
    But let's ask ourselves--are we born to live our life according to our wishes or those of our lord/Creator? Answer is simple!
    Surely, all our actions and misdeeds are being watched by our Creator-- even during our breathing in and breathing out? "HE" has given us power to distinguish between right and wrong, yet we prefer to play politics of double standard just to cheat our ownself.

    Logically speaking, we have no choice but to live our life according to the wish of our manufacturer/Creator - of course.
    Teen age pregnancy/unprotected coitus is because of ignoring the orders of (GOD ALMIGHTY). Meaning there is responsibilty of parents who usually fail to be role models and some have the same past --all due to ignoring the manufacturr's guide/manual.
    The Qur'an (a complete code of life) is the final unalterable divine message for the benefit of entire humankind.
    Hypocrites can't benefit from this guidance.

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  32. In England the tabloids are always demonising teenagers for responding to their hormones, but then they complain the birth rates are falling and we cannot look after our elderly people. The best defence is a good offence, which means education. You can never have too much education and its the only thing, once you have it, no one can ever take it away. Your posting some very topical posts Izdiher, i wonder if you might be a journalist or something one day?

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  34. :) and I was wondering the same thing.. My country does not have proper sex education in school due to............................... THE COUNTRY ITSELF BREEDS INTELLIGENT HUMANS, SO WE DO NOT NEED ANY SEX EDUCATION! Just kidding... I guess,... religion is one of the excuse over here.

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