Friday, January 31, 2014

Inter-ethnic marriage and Pak.

Pakistani society is an ethically heterogeneous society. Every province has its own  culture, language, dresses, food etc, etc, but when it comes to getting married,  we don't feel comfortable with other ethnicity, even if other Pakistani is Muslim, five time namzi.

It is also not like that we are forbidden to do so, we are allowed, but tell me how many of us do that voluntary,  happily, without any fear of society, family and what will people say?
Tell me how many Sindhi men fall for Pakhtun girls? Or how many Punjabi and Urdu speaking families tell rista aunties they have no issue with having Bloch daughter/son-in-law,  or even in Karachi where people from all around the Pakistan are residing  prefer to  find someone  from out side their ethnicity?

Only 20%, and sometimes, I think those who had done inter ethnic marriage,  is from Allah, otherwise as  much as  I have  seen in my life till now,  people don't  want an outsider in their homes.

Because we  don't  marry like, "hey, I wanna get marry." We marry like, when everyone in our  family agrees, "hey, you should get married now, " We don't marry a person, we marry a family.

 Sheerif  people don't talk about their own arraignment, shuuuu. Mama will find someone. Go and play.

 It is just " timing is changing," " change is inevitable,"  and many of us can't do anything about it. It is from God, otherwise we are still same and don't like change. We still prefer apna zaban wali/wali, someone from our own  ethnic group, if not first,  second cousin, relative, over an outsider.

There are  many reasons for it.

But,  I wouldn't give you any reason here, because I haven't understood them by myself  yet. I dunno why people are like that.  I do ask them off and on, why they prefer their own ethnicity, no intelligent answer yet.

 There is no such harm in it either. If they find it is good for their family, or people from their own ethnicity are better for their kids, no one can  stop them. However,  it has played an important role in shaping our society, or what we are, and what type of   nation we have become.

If it was  a normal and common thing, there wouldn't be tu punjabi, mein a balochi type of thing. It might has cooled us down. People were not sticking out like sore thumb......tu sindhi, mein pakhtun.

Inter-ethnic marriages help  people to   accept  and tolerate each other. Societies become open, and  there is less extremism. It demolishes misunderstandings, stereotypes and myths about other ethnicity, help to bring people  closer, and   makes any nation, one nation especially  for countries like Pakistan.


  1. My parents were two different nationalities and it was great growing up with such cultural diversity.

  2. I agree, some people think change is a bad thing and that having a relationship with different people will "ruin" their culture and or traditions. :(

  3. You always write about such interesting topics!
    Most families in pak do avoid marrying into different ethnics, actually almost everyone I know their has married within their own ethnic group.
    I think this is (slowly) changing, but a lot of people are resisting this change :/

  4. It must be hard on ppl, for society to decide and dictate who to marry..

  5. Ifra, things are changing everywhere, a bit slowly in some places:) But changes will happen!

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Ifrah, I have experienced many inter-racial episodes, almost married one black girl with whom I lived for about a year, AND have two family members inter-married. It used to be big thing, but is NOT now. Religion, however is another thing, which seems to be all but ignored in U.S. these days. People marry for LOVE, not convenience or ethnicity. And yet divorce rate is still high. (sigh)

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY for you Ifrah, my Pak-Girl fb Friend. Thinking of you today, and wising for you whatever is GoooD, and leads you to Serenity and Peace.

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