Saturday, January 2, 2016

My 2015

My 2015 despite having my dream job was so  difficult in many ways. Or maybe I was over thinking, over doing, giving importance to those who don't even matter. There was some tension.  Something was definitely wrong.....with me. I had made up my mind that this are not my crowd. And I got stressed out.  Almost all my blog posts were about it.

 It was like a  bad marriage. A marriage where no matter what I wasn't  able to surrender..compromise at all.  I had started having night mares. Getting up in morning with the thought that I have had  to go back there was killing me. All I wanted to stay curled up in my bed to never woke up. Sleeping was the only comfort I had.

  Everyone there were  almost same, coming  from the same background  with same values. I had made up in my mind that whatever is going on is  like they versus me.

It was hitting me like truck.

 I was the only misfit.

All this made me the saddest person on the block.

Then I met A. We became friends. Things remained same but I found an escape in her form.  And you know escape is no solution. She also had almost the same issues in her deptt. She is more patience, more sensible and more mature and more luckier  than me. Still some how we were able to find silver lining.

In September M joined us. I was goddamn happy.

My bad.

Things got more messy.

My way of dealing thing is so immature and childish.

 I am going to Islamabad for 10 days. I need a break so badly.