Saturday, April 7, 2018

The norm of talking crap

Pakistani Television host and politician of PTI, Mr. Aamir Laiquat  just posted few tweets about politician Ms.Marium Nawaz of PML(N) ( here) on April 4. They were posted to defame and insult Ms. Nawaz because she is his opponent now. Otherwise who cares what type of loose character woman she is?

Do you?

He intentionally character assassinated her with total force, leaving no stone untruned.

It figures.

It figures because it  is a norm. That is the way it is. Like it or not, if not everyone but 'almost' every other Pakistan talks like him/ do exactly he did with very little difference, whenever he/she gets a chance. Character assassination is the only and most power tactic to tackle the opponent or with who they have issue(s). Jump upSometimes, they can go in length  to destroy someone's reputation just because someone didn't say "salam' to them. People who are abusive by default knows 

According to the US legal: Law and legal definition," Character Assassination refers to the slandering or vicious personal verbal attack on a person with the intention of destroying or damaging that person’s reputation or confidence. In other words it is malicious verbal assaults designed to damage or tarnish the reputation of a person. Once done, these acts are often difficult to reverse or rectify. Therefore it is likened to a literal assassination of a human life. The damage sustained can last a lifetime or, for historical figures and important personalities, for many centuries after their death.

It involves a deliberate attempt to destroy a person's reputation, especially by criticizing them in an unfair and dishonest way when they are not present. It can also involve exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person, double speak, spreading of rumors, innuendo or deliberate misinformation on topics relating to the subject's morals, integrity, and reputation. It is a form of defamation.

All this can effect an individual profoundly. It can damage the mental and physical health along with credibility and reputation of an individual. And in the third world countries like Pakistan, where being chaste is only criteria to be respectable, someone can even get killed. 

Normally people are very Okay with using derogatory remarks about anyone, anywhere. And, I am talking about real life here. People don't feel an ounce of shame when talking about other person's life. This nation is obsess with what-others-are-doing.  It is their national duty to have an eye on everyone and females mostly. Males also go through it as well but recovery is much quicker and easier due to high cognitive dissonance. They get away with a justification: Marad ka kuch nahi jatta.

People do it with all their heart without thinking that they also have their own daughters in home. It can come back to them.

God willing, it will. If not today, then tomorrow. Someone will be doing same to them because it is a viscous circle. What goes around, comes around.

On TV, Aamir Laiquat is paid to say such things. Channel owners and producers are very well aware of who he is. They want him on the purpose. They know that by only having him they will be able to achieve the TRP for their channels. PEMRA's notices and actions go in drain- all the time.

And most importantly, people do like him. TRP doesn't go up by "just having him." It shows that Pakistani public is watching him. They have no issue with him or the content. Whatever he says drives home that it is acceptable in our society.

The thing about the stuff he posts on his social media account is that: He owns it. That is his property. He can say it even if he is the 'role model'. And he did. You can do nothing about it, can you?

All you can do it grit your teeth, unfollow him or insult back. 

Others do almost the same thing, in cyber and real world whenever they find something conflicting with their preconceived opinions. Read any comment section on the Facebook pages of Pakistani's Newspaper if I am making it up. You wouldn't be surprised to see how full they are with cursing/derogatory remarks if the news or content doesn't sink in well with them. 

Those who don't do it on Social Media, they do it in real life.

This shows off the public's mannerism, upbringing, and frustration along with mental illness.

 Korea University’s Sun Park and Northeastern University psychologist C. Randall Colvin calls such people narcissistic. No normal person can do such low thing. It gotta be a narcissistic who can insult others this much.

The authors of the book Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work  dub such people psychopaths and say they use this  techniques of character assassination to maintain their agenda and power. 

What make this whole situation more ironic is that Aamir Laiquat and the type are not some low life junkies passing comments or cat calling some random women at street. This is done by the most educated mostly. As you can see Ammir Laiquat is PhD  ( fake or foreign doesn't matter: degree is degree ). I can bet billion dollars here that a Pakistani with an authentic foreign degree can does that with out a hesitation. As  I said this is a mere tactic: A way to compete.

A PhD is no gaerente to make you a better human being. 40-50 years of up bringing has its own impact. People are taught from a very young age to talk slander about others. They have seen it in their homes and social gatherings, how women are insulted, put down and defamed for doing something which "others" don't approve. Blame and accuse, if there is no other way to win.

Personally, I consider it the most lowest thing an human can do to another human.  That person is the stinkiest. One of my very good friend and well wisher told me the only way to deal with such stinky people is to play at their level or pass it. There is really no middle way.  She is so damn right.

There is also no need to react, response, defend, confront or even negotiate the abuser. Just gather all the evidence, document each and every act, and seek help from the law by hiring a lawyer.

Derogatory comments like these might not bug Marius Nawaz much. She is a strong, confident and rich woman whose father was three times  prime minister: she is a woman in the end of the day. She and no one deserves to be ridicule for their personal life's choices, action, life style, clothes or whatever like that in front of the public. No women should ever be defame for her personal matters.

Majority of Pakistan understand the severity of this  dilemma. Therefore they keep everything under the radar. What doesn't happen in our society? Almost everything; behind the four walls.  It is their idea of freedom and safety.

What we really need to fathom is that we can't teach tradition, cultural, religion, or so called ' lesson' to any adult woman. We are not her father, nor you have any obligation to do so. Even by religion you are not her wali/guardian.

So, why so worry about her?

Any individual above the age of 18 is a full grown adult.  Learn to respect it. Mind your own business. In the time of so much antsy: keep an eye on your daughters, sisters, wives, and mother. They are your  only responsibility.

Do you want me to go on, or is this enough to comprehens ?

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