Monday, November 23, 2015
No complain..no explanation !!!!!!!!!
I shouldn't have left the room like I did. It was awful.
When I reached there she was doing her everyday drama bazi at H's table. It was lunch time. Almost everyone was there except one co-worker. My mood was OK but suddenly I got so angry. I am so tired of her loud voice, and dramas. Well, to be honest I slammed the door at him just because of anger. I had no intention of doing that. It all happened so quick.
He called out me in his gentle way. I banged the door and left. It was the rudest thing I ever did to him.
This is one of the issues which I want to solve or complain to higher authority. But I don't know with whom I should talk about it as others are all OK with this loud environment. Everyone likes it.
It seems it would be a stupidity if I complain as even the mature and older ones are happy with it. When no one listens, and no one understands then it is useless..... and more probably you are insulting your own self while complaining.
So I have just quieten down.
Best was that I should have had adjusted and mingled with the rest. I tried but on the day 2 I had a realization that if I stay bit longer with them I am gonna be trapped with these peeps forever. This s not my circle. To them I am the one who could agy ja sakti hai. My two cents have zero value. I still try to have at least good relation as they are in my face even after almost a year I couldn't do it.
I couldn't fake it. After Salam and dua I can't go on more with them. It is quite hard for me to be with them all the time as we all sit in the same room. It gets so difficult to concentrate, read and prepare lectures when I am back to my office.
To survive I have been ignoring all this and adjust in the environment as much as I could but today something came over me at lunch. I just couldn't put up.
I slammed the door and left the room.
I know they are right and I am wrong.
They are fun and I am boring as hell.
Only A and F like me and with me because they want to be with me. So OK. I am OK with them.