Letting it go.

It is hard to let it go. All wrong calculation, assumption, emotions, and  feelings brought me once again where I was in 2010 😕. No one realized how hard it  was for me to accept it once again. I was happy just to see it and starting thinking it is for me.  It was another illusion. I  was wrong once again.  It wasn't for me. Despite knowing  all that I  fooled and humiliate  my self once again. There is this loser type pattern I have been following for so long. In the end I am just hurt. Let's call it a phase. I'm fixing it. All I'm  paying  that if it is not for me then it ends as quickly as possible so I get outta this funk.